What's In a Name? }:{ Jaden Knight

Jaden - "God has heard"
Knight - "Warrior" or "Champion"

Five years ago on September 19th, my little warrior took his first breath. He entered this world forcefully and was met with the screams of a mother in unbelievable pain.





Maybe he took his cues from the first sounds he heard out of me. Maybe he knew the meaning of his name. Maybe it's in his DNA. But whatever the case, Jaden Knight was born a fighter. He fought to enter this world (and did some damage in the process)...he made it his routine to scream nightly for at least an hour for the first few months of his little life...and he's perfected the art of pushing my buttons. If nothing else gets me to pray, Ja will. I pray for patience, for wisdom and for peace, both for me and for him.

There were many times when things were so stressful, due to Jaden's behavior, that I found it difficult to remember the good times. But when I take time to really look at my boy through eyes of love, instead of eyes of stress or fatigue or frustration, I am able to see him for who he really is. He is a strong-willed, loving, funny, intelligent boy with a heart of gold. He knows how to make me laugh like nobody's business, and I love him to pieces for it. His quick wit and the way his mind works, at only five years old, amazes me daily. I can't wait to see the man he grows up to be.





So, to my warrior, my little champion, I know there are great things in store for you. I know that you will fight your way to your destiny. I know that when you begin to call out to God for his guidance and direction, He will hear you every time. In the meantime, I'll do it for you. Mama loves you, JKnight.

Live in Love,
}:{ Keda }:{

Live in Love

*I'm reposting this entry from the old blog (9/3/09) because it still has significant meaning to me and the direction I want Papillon to take.*

"Live in Love"

It's such a simple phrase, but to me, it means so much. The more time passes, the more we take the word "love" for granted. When is the last time you really thought about the meaning of that packed little word? When I think about it, this is what my heart sings...

God is love and...

Love is life.

Love is a knee weakening harmony over a beat so sick it forbids your body to be still.

Love is looking into the eyes of your baby and being amazed by the possibilities. 

Love is a tangle of warm limbs, intertwined after an eternity of mmmmm.

Love is a warm hug that washes the worries of the world away.

Love is time spent in solitude finding your true self.

Love is giving of that self to someone else.

Love is laughing 'til your middle is sore.

Love is a dream and a destiny. 

Love is wonder.

Love is beauty.

Love is home.

God is love and...

Love is life.

To live in love is to live like today is your last. It is to give your all, no matter what folks around you do...no matter how badly you want to give in or to give "just enough." To live in love is to live your absolute best life. It is to keep reaching, to keep striving, no matter how many times life knocks you down. It is to learn from your failures and grow a little more each and every day.

So here's to finding the love of your life, whether that be found in someone else, in yourself, or in your calling. 

Live in Love,

}:{ Keda }:{

What's In a Name? }:{ Nessaja Camille

It was a Friday. I was exhausted and just a bit loopy. But it was a day that forever changed my life. On April 18, 2003, I met the most exquisite, delicate, breathtaking creature to ever have crossed my path. It was the day my Baby Doll entered my life.







My obsession with butterflies demanded that my little girl's name reflect just that. Nessaea is a genus of butterfly that lives in the Neotropical Ecozone, which includes Central & South America, Southern Mexico, the Caribbean Islands and Florida. It didn't hurt that Nessaeas are beautiful, some with jet black wings adorned with bold splashes of turquoise. A fitting name for such a treasure.

There is some debate as to the meaning of the name "Camille." Some say it means perfect or unblemished character. Now, you know I'm not saying that Saja is perfect, but she has one of the sweetest hearts I've come across in a long time. I admire her character. She sincerely cares about the feelings and well-being of others, sometimes too much. I often struggle with teaching her balance and how to keep her soft heart without losing herself in the process. Others say it means altar server/attendant of religious ceremonies. I truly believe that, even now, Saja has a heart for God. She's often my nudge to make my way to church on days when other things have creeped their way to the top of the "to do" list. No matter the meaning, "Camille" works for my girl.

So, here's to my beautiful, delicate, breathtaking princess. Mama loves you and the young lady you're transforming into.

Live in Love,
}:{ Keda }:{

Fitness, Fro's & Photos: Dreams of Random Craziness

Have you ever awoken from a dream confused about what in the world is going on in your head? Well, that was me yesterday. I guess I'm so preoccupied with certain pieces of my life that they seep into my subconscious in the most random ways imaginable. Case in point: last night's dream. Follow me down the rabbit hole, if you will... 

I had a photo shoot scheduled with Beyonce & Kelly Rowland (please don't ask, I told you it was crazy) where we would all take turns taking photos of each other. [Obvious photography connection] Instead of driving, I decided to run to the studio. [Connection: my lack of a car + my recent efforts to get back in shape] I ran faster and farther than I thought possible. Once I arrived at the location, I realized I didn't have the dress I was supposed to wear for my turn in front of the camera, so I called my Mom to see if she could bring it to me. [Connection: my Mom loves me enough to pause her life to come and save mine.] When I'm changing, I notice that I have THE most AWESOME lady-six-pack known to man - like the kind I had in high school, people! [Connection: fitness kick, again]

Finally, I'm ready to photograph Beyonce, but we're losing light fast. I see the shot I want in my mind, but for some reason it's not working according to plan. Next thing you know, in walks Stephen Colbert, who moves me aside to show the crowd of 20-something people how it's done (hey, where did they come from?). [Connection: I watch waaay too much Colbert Report - that guy is hilarious!] So Stephen (may I call you Stephen, sir?) pirates my shot and takes so much time doing it that we've now lost all light. Now, here comes [b]ecker (a wonderful, and pretty popular photographer) who gives a speech to everyone & no one in particular about how rude it is to take over another photographer's shoot like Stephen did. After he concludes his speech, I quietly turn to him and let him know that he's not one that should be giving speeches because apparently, he did the same thing to me. WHAT?!?
To add to the crazy randomness,  I swear I saw Val Kilmer in the crowd, and somewhere in the middle of all the nonsense, somebody straightened 1/2 of my hair without me noticing. [Connection: my transition to hair sans chemicals]

What do I have to say about all of this, you ask? One word: Weird.

Now that you've experienced a bit of the inner workings of my subconscious...leave a comment & tell me, what was the weirdest dream you ever had?

On a serious note, though, the one thing I can take from all of the craziness is this: No matter how "out there" people may think your dreams are, never stop dreaming.

Live in Love,
}:{ Keda }:{

4 months into my Natural Journey